I don’t know about you, lovely people, but I for one am really fed up of not being able to be loud and vocal during sex. It’s fucking frustrating, quite literally, to not be able to really get into it. The sounds of sex add so much spice and flavor. That’s why we all like listening to porn, after all. Sure watching naked people getting it on is nice. But without the sounds, who cares. Don’t you dare deny it. You know you love the grunting and moaning and aaaaahing.
Doing the deed with sound effects turned on is what I would like to do. The thing is, the neighbors across the wall are liable to get their panties in a bunch if we’re too loud. I swear, in my neighborhood, nobody has had non-procreative sex ever. All the neighbors are so close, you would think that I would’ve glimpsed or detected something suggestive going on by now. But we never see anyone holding hands or, gasp, kissing on the street. Forget about seeing anyone wearing anything remotely close to revealing. And hearing heavy breathing or rhythmic fucking is just unimaginable.
Not that we don’t hear noises. Oh no! We can hear doors getting slammed, people going up and down the stairs, dogs barking. We hear the hum of their dishwashers and we see the lights they leave on. So these windows and walls do have the capacity to transmit sights and sounds. And that’s what’s terrifying. It’s like some spookier version of The Stepford Wives.
Having sex is an activity for the senses. I do mean all the senses. Sex with the lights off and not being able to look into her eyes? Not for me. Not being able to smell her skin and taste her everywhere? I would be a very sad person if that were to happen. It’s not as bad with sex sounds. We can manage to quietly whisper our orgasms, after all. But still. Did I mention it’s frustrating?
I miss not caring about the noise we make. I miss being fucking turned on and letting my vocal cords act accordingly. I miss blaring my abandon and coming like a true king.