I haven’t blogged in seemingly forever. It is something I miss dearly though and I have often thought recently about getting back into it.
It’s hard to say what has brought this on. However I do know that I feel lonely. Not the kind of lonely that arises from finding yourself alone, but the one that results from wanting back in. As I have mentioned before, I used to have a good following and made interesting connections through the previous incarnation of my writing digs. That and the body of work I had built is something I regret leaving behind instead of nurturing it and keeping at it. Who knows where this would be today if I had.
I have a sense that if I write and put down whatever comes to mind, hopefully good things will follow. I need a place where I can pour words and stir them into ideas that can grow into something soothing.
I have personally been going through a very rough patch and I need an outlet. My thoughts have been dark and rather unwelcome, to say the least. OK, honestly it’s freaking me out. I need something to grab onto. I think it’s all because I’m not getting any younger and my life has changed in recent years. My role with my wife and my kids is not what it used to be. All for the better, to be sure, and I still love them dearly. That will never change. Professionally too, things have lost their luster, in a way that makes me wonder what’s next. And it’s natural that things change. I just was not expecting that the transitions would hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I find myself pondering deceptively fundamental questions like why am I here and what’s my purpose now that those previous roles have been largely fulfilled?
Answers to such gloom seem like a millions miles away at the moment. My apologies for the heaviness. May these words evoke some meaning for you, dear reader. Perhaps this can be like a song, where we attach a meaning that suits us based on what personal experience we bring in. I do read a lot of blogs and I’ve always very much appreciated that people freely share personal slices of their life experiences with strangers on the web. I started blogging back in the day as a way to give back some of that. Now instead of giving, I want to get back what I lost.
Cheers.